Sunday, December 14, 2014

Fruit Flymageddon: A lost and now found tale from last Summer

I am ready for summer to be over.

School starts in 2 days, well, closer to 1 now and I am SO very ready.

I still have new shoes and clothes and backpacks to buy, but as far as the getting the kids out of the house and back on a schedule part of it I am SO ready.

Today has just been one of those days.  The kind of day where you question your decision to ever grow human beings in the first place......okay, okay, so maybe it hasn't been that bad, but it was close.

All the humans in the house are just tired of each other it would seem.  Tired of being around each other, but none of them are tired of being around me.  I completely do not understand this.  They all want to be in my presence as they continue to bicker and pick at each other and be loud.  I try and hide and they find me......they ALWAYS find me.  I need better hiding places.

This morning 3 children had to have showers/baths because they had appointments to go to.  Leaving the house means hygiene is non negotiable.  With two showers/baths in the house this should not be a hard process.  Let me just highlight that word " SHOULD".

Me:  Kalen, please go take a shower.

Kalen: Can I use your shower?

Me: No, the littles are taking a tub in there.

Kalen: There are fruit flies in my bathroom.  I can't shower in there.

Me: Kill it.

Kalen: There are too many.

Me: *Thinking to myself* Too many?  How many fruit flies can end up in there?  We have like one piece of fruit downstairs.

I head to the bathroom to kill the 3 flies that I assume makes too many for her to be able to bathe.  I open the door and look around.


  People! it was a fruit fly-a-palooza in there.  If there was 2 there was probably 200, I don't even think I am exaggerating.

I look at their garbage can.  Someone has thrown some sort of item in it that spawned this fruited fly hell, but it is so full that I cannot tell what.  I leave to get a garbage sack.

When I come back I shut the door behind me.  I was prepared to do battle.  It was woman vs. fruit fly.  A full on Fruit flymageddon was about to take place and I didn't want any survivors.  I picked up the garbage off the floor and out of the can while yelling out things like, "This is NASTY!
NEVER AGAIN!!!!!!  and THIS IS WHY YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO BRING FOOD UP HERE!!!!!"  All of which were repeated numerous times.  After swinging a dirty shirt that had been left on the floor at them like a crazed woman and only killing maybe 50 of them I decided bigger guns were needed.  I came back with a vacuum cleaner.  I used the hose attachment and started to suck them up out of the air, off the walls, and the ceilings.

 It worked.

Starting Monday the children will each have a day that they are going to be responsible for their bathroom so that I never ever have to do that again.  7 kids, 7 days of the week, it was meant to be.

After fighting with the flies it went to fighting with my 4 year old, who fresh out of the tub decided that sweat pants were the thing to wear on an 80 degree day to speech therapy.  I grabbed him some shorts and told him to change out of the sweats.  Full on melt down!  Full on.  I got distracted during his meltdown with other melting down children.  (Let's just say my house was Chernobyl this morning, melt downs happening everywhere.)  At this point it is 11:00 and I need to make some type of food before I leave for speech.

The food is made and I call for the 4 year old.  No boy.  He had fallen asleep under my bed during his meltdown so that he would not have to put on his shorts.  It is now 12:30 and speech is at 1.  I wake the monster  angelic child up and we get to speech, but the getting there wasn't pretty.  He did however go wearing shorts and not his sweat pants.

When we came home it was time to load up the other two who had Dr. Appts.  I had them in the car and was ready to pull out when I decided to get out my ID card, so I wouldn't have to do it at the gate. My wallet was not in my purse.

After searching and searching and calling my husband to no avail for possible back up to get onto base the time was ticking closer and closer to appointment time.

Finally the wallet was found, in the xbox bag, hidden away by small fingers for who knows what purpose.

We made it to the appointments only 15 minutes late.

Only two more sleeps until school starts.

Hallelujah!