Saturday, December 21, 2013

When you feel too dirty for the Nativity to be for you

*Warning, there is some swearing in this post. *


Most of us have heard it, the nativity story, some of us dozens of times if not more.

The Christ child born of Mary in a manger while shepherds quake and angels sing.
Mary and Joseph chosen of God to bear and raise the King of Kings.

And it was asked for me to tell which of these people in the story spoke most to me. And the truth is they didn't speak, not even a whisper. They felt too far, too distant from me and my filth. They felt too squeaky clean.

I questioned my Christianity.

How could they not even whisper?

Without this birth, this baby, there would be no Savior.

A baby born to bear my sins.

I have heard it said by others that they have done and been and seen too much for God to ever forgive them.

This Christmas story leads to the Cross.

Where sinless Jesus took on our sins, bore our burdens, so we could be free/redeemed.

The Cross to the Resurrection.

I wrote once about the thorns of sin that I knowingly and willingly walked into:

"I look at my blood stained skin, the thorns dipped in red.  Suddenly they are not just my thorns, they are Christ's.  I have crowned Him in these thorns that I willingly walked into.  He suffered, bled His own blood, skin pierced by the thorns that weren't His own.  His glory forsaken, to be crowned in my sin." 

I realized tonight that I struggle so much with relating to the people in the Christmas story, because I have felt more like the shit filled manger.  Smelly, disgusting.  Guilt ridden knowing that I will pierce that baby with these thorns. 

So, I wonder if those people who think they are too shit filled for Jesus feel a lot like that; guilty for putting their thorns and crap on a baby.  Is it the manger story that makes the Cross of Christ so hard for our minds to bear? 

God reminded me tonight of something I think is often over looked.  At least I know that I have over looked it and that is this:

Before Jesus came to earth as a tender, sweet baby, He sat on the throne in Heaven where all of time was laid out before Him. 

He saw and knew exactly what thorns/sins I would crown Him with that day on Calvary, long before He lay in swaddling clothes.  And He still came to earth.  And He chose to come to earth in a manger.

I don't think that was an over sight on His part.

He was born in a shit filled manger, so that people who feel like I did can rest assured that He can be born in them too.

So I don't relate to a person in this story, I relate to the place.

Come be born in me again this Christmas, Lord Jesus.


4 comments:

Karmen said...

So beautiful and spot on!!! I love how you relate to the place not a person. This touched me so! Amen for our saviour! Merry Christmas! So thankful we found each other this year. :)

Karmen M. said...

I am thankful, too. Merry Christmas to you and your family! Wish we lived a little closer, so we could meet. =)

Bonnie Gray said...

Dear Karmen, thanks again for sharing the place you found yourself identifying with this Christmas. And in that place, Jesus is there --- and so are we. I felt anxious for you, as you await the results of your tests... And I hope God will give doctors wisdom to diagnose and identify what it is. I know that feeling of waiting... it isn't easy. :) You're not alone.

Karmen M. said...

Thank you Bonnie. I am very glad to have found your site/sight. Reading your words makes my world better.